Curtis

Last year MTV had this show that was supposed to be this barber shop in NYC where the barbers spent the days talking hip hop and cutting snaps on each other to pass the time. In terms of realness it's up there with those other shows MTV has where the rich white kids do rich white kid things but in terms of horrible TV this was one of the best shows ever. When the barbers weren't randomly discussing topics such as 'Is Justin Timberlake cool even if he isn't a brother?' they were giving C list rap and R &B dudes like Chris Brown a fresh shape up. One of these guests was the man himself, Tony Yayo.

So while Yayo was getting his hair done one of the barbers interrupted the interview/haircut, where he was discussing how he came up with the title for his "Thoughts of a Predicate Felon" album, by cutting a "freestyle". After the rap Yayo just looked at the dude with his eyes blunted and said "Anybody can spit a hot verse but can you make a hot album?" My friend Dan and I must have laughed about this for weeks. So as hilarious as that interview was, Tony Yayo has a feature on Fiddy's new album where he rhymes about MySpace, and it's my new favorite funny thing Tony Yayo has ever done.

these OG's talkin about back in the days/ I put an RIP sign on yo MySpace page
top 8 nigga/ drop 8 nigga/ GCT coup is sour grape nigga

There's this kinda oblivious charm to Tony Yayo. When you listen to him you can tell that he honestly believes that he's good at making words rhyme over a beat and there's something to that. It's not good but there's something to that. As an MC you need confidence and Yayo at least has that even if he is the shittest rapper in the whole world of shitty rap. 50 Cent on the other hand, has no confidence whatsoever. So while that might be reason #72 why "Curtis" is horrible and I deleted it right after I played it, it might be the biggest. He just doesn't care.

And honestly why should he? He's beyond rap rich at this point and it's not like he's going to be able to change people's minds about his music now. Plus lets be real if any of us made half a billion on some off brand Gatorade shit we wouldn't either. 50 needs to just chill and take some time away from rap. Start playing up the fact that he's rich as fuck and stick to doing guest spots/remixes of random dudes shit until he finds that fire again. Basically just do what Jay-Z did and build up that buzz until he's ready to comeback.

I know I haven't talked about the album much but like it's pretty much just garbage. Every other song had some R & B dude on it and they all sucked. I liked two of the beats and they were both by the same guy soo maybe this Jake One has some future but he'll probably just spend all the money on some Nate Newton shit. The only songs I didn't delete (other than the Yayo feature) are that "I Get Money" and that song he did when Floyd Mayweather fought that washed up hispanic bum who's soo pussy whipped he won't fight Miguel Cotto. Oh and that "Smile" song. That's actually pretty good. 50 kinda goes all "How To Rob An Industry Nigga" and unlike "Fully Loaded Clip" it works. He raps about making Tipper Gore a fan, how Oprah won't invite him to be a guest, compares himself to MLK, raps about Bill O'Reilly's wife, and some Interscope political shit. The hook is "smile nigga my next album might be my last" and maybe it would be for the best. It's been about two weeks since off brand Gatorade has come out with a new flavor and I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.

Greg Oden is older than your Dad and has a worse knee

Around like February of last year the Oden/Durrant debate really heated up into one of those sports things where you had to pick sides. I saw Durrant get lit up by a mediocre at best Villanova team in person and after that I was an Oden man. My reasoning was and still is that guys who can put up 25 are a dime a bakers dozen in the NBA. Guys who can dominate the post on both ends well aren't. Even if Oden was just decent he would like automatically be a top 3 guy at his position behind that 7'6 Asian dude who looks like he has downs and that Jesus freak teenager down in Disney. So while I'm not a Blazers fan it sucks that the Oden pick I have been defending since February just blew up in my face but oh well I'm a Sixers fan and this makes me feel a little better that my team played it's way out of a lottery pick by winning meaningless games in April with a bunch of jobbers.

As for how all of this will end up? I dunno I mean it sounds like most guys are able to comeback from this but he is a 47 year old man and the NBA don't have too many of those guys unless you count Dikembe but he's ageless due to drinking the blood of starving kids trapped in some village in the Congo.

A tale of whores, fake sneezes, and mad props.

That thing where you sneeze and then call someone a bad name is like one of the lowest forms of comedy but mad props are due for Wendal Parker for doing the best version of this I have ever seen.

Sneezing out SLUT. The Slut came back in her full deigo white trash Colingdale voice the whore said 'What the fuck did you call me Wendal?'

Wendal took a huge drag of his cig and calmly said 'I called you a slut'

The whore ran off crying.

Mad props were given out and a new hero was born.

Graduation

So instead of doing anything productive last night I was flipping channels and caught Kanye on 106 & Park. I hadn't seen 106 & Park in forever and I don't think I will watch again cuz I'm not a 13 year old who is trying to swagger jack black culture, I'm 21 nigga I read blogs and hip hop sites. I remember a few years ago (maybe it was last year I dunno) when they got rid of the hosts and then the former female host tried to become a rapper. Not that I've ever really cared for Free (I think that's her name) or heard anything by her but watching this made me miss her for two reasons: The new host is about as dark as Jason Kidd and has no ass. How hard is it for BET to find a black girl to fill that roll? So Kanye comes on talks about his album, puts over the cover work by some artist I don't know, and preforms 'Big Brother'. I think I've flip flopped on 'Big Brother' about 29 times since I first heard it. Part of me thinks its gayer than that record Game recorded where he pretended he was drunk off Belvedere and drunk dialed Busta Rhymes crying over the Dre. breakup and then part of me loves it based upon the kinda guy Kanye is. A very egotistical sensitive dude who despite all the success he's had probably needs to be given constant praise. With that line of thinking I consider it to be among the best songs he's ever done. The song comes off as a diss not just to Jay but to Kanye himself and that's one of the reasons Kanye is unique. Most rappers are stuck in this tough frame of mind, Kanye understands that's not him and shows the realness that is insecurity. I actually felt kinda sad for Kanye during his performance. There he is preforming this song that obviously means the world to him and the kids are not into it at all. You could tell they would have much rather seen Solja Boy do the superman. Then his 'Big Brother' came out and the place went nuts for the twenty seconds that Jay did 'Encore'. Afterwards they hugged and I shed like five tears.

I remember when the last Kanye album came out I read something that Raven wrote on DVDVR about him assuming it sucked since Dan Patrick was praising it and I remember that comment made me mad at first and then I thought about it more and yeah it did suck for that reason and many more. Too many guests, overproduction, and that damn 'Gold Digger' song made me dislike most of it (well except for 'Gone' that song is amazing). Working in a bar that is geared towards middle aged white males will make you hate a lot of the things they enjoy (well except for beer and sports). Most of the time they wont tolerate rap and if they do it usually sucks. They tolerated 'Gold Digger'. It sucked.

I have a feeling they wont tolerate this album. He's not on the air anymore but I have a feeling Dan Patrick wouldn't' dig it either. Not that those are the only two things to take into consideration but they're a good start. Unlike his other two albums he keeps it short and sweet and it really works. For a lead single with a Daft Punk sample I dig 'Stronger' way more than 'Touch It'. 'Good Life' is my third favorite thing T-Pain has been on in the past month but it's still awesome. And man T-Pain is well on his way to winning this years Grammy for most-overexposed-r & b-hook-guy of 2007 but he is still cranking out good stuff. 'Can't Tell Me Nothing' has been my jam for the past few weeks and I may have been the last person on earth to watch the amazing remix video that everyone needs to see right now if you haven't already. The song itself is nothing special but for some reason I am in love with the beat and the Jeezy sample.

The two songs I don't care for are 'Barry Bonds' and 'Homecoming'. For a feature on one of the years biggest albums Wayne really phones it in. Shit he had a way better verse for a feature on Max B's album. Had a much better feature for Ja Rule. Was Wayne trying to sabotage the album or was he just all fucked up on k-pins and blow? 'Homecoming' is a recycled Kanye song mixed with the faggot from Coldplay. Kanye's verses are pretty good but I don't understand why he didn't just use the original version thats been around for like two years.

Other than that I am a huge fan of 'Graduation' it smokes 'Curtis' in every single way imaginable and its a fun listen even if Kanye is an egotistical closeted crybaby. With that being said it is kinda cool that Kanye is the only person on earth who cares about winning a VMA.

this is a sad sad sad sad day